How to be rude to a street musician

Hi there...

Again, I see people (a few) are actually reading this stuff, so I start the same thing up again... If you're reading this, email me and let me know....  walthansen753@yahoo.com.

Anyhowz, todays blog is  'how to be rude to a street musician'.

People in downtown San Jose are truly great at this.  If this were an olympic event, these people would be the Eric Heiden mixed with Bob Beaman contestants.....  Truly gold medalists.

The first discipline:

First, you have to find the street musician.  It's best if you find one that is playing out there for the real purpose of raising money to eat, and for shelter,  not the  'once a week' pretender, thats out there trying to raise money for another video game cartridge.
Once the musician is found, you'll need a couple of items....  An mp3 player, preferably something that is bluetooth capable, and then a set of  bluetooth speakers.
Wait for the musican to be in a complex and/or truly remarkable piece of music.
NOW....  Fire up that mp3 player, connect via bluetooth to the speakers, and start blasting that lovely rap music, the more offensive the better, and loudly, as loud as your speakers can go.
The street musician will be so amused, and grateful that they get to take a break while you're blasting everyones ear drums with  M en M,  or  Justin Beiber, or just some joyous rap tune that promotes shooting innocent people, or cops.
If  anyone complains that you're playing your crap too loudly,  just flip them off, and turn it up louder.  Isn't that what the first ammendment is all about, after all ?

Second event.    It starts out much like the first one.  Find the street musician.  Wait for them to be playing a tune.  Again, this is best done to street musicians that are trying to earn money for food and lodging.
Stand near the street musician.  Maybe dance a bit.  Tap your feet.   To really earn extra points, when the street musician is between tunes, tell them how much you enjoyed what they were playing.
Next, pull some  money out of  your  wallet/purse.  Bend down as if to put it in the street musicians hat/box/etc....   ah hah!  And stop.    Put the money back in your pocket, and walk away.  The street musician will find this especially nice.  (Yes, I have seen this a few times this past week alone).

And finally the third event.  This doesn't take muck skill and practice,  no real finesse, but it will cost you just a bit.   Yes, see part one of  the first two practices,  search/find/be rude.
This is the simplest of all the disciplines really.   Reach into your pocket and find a few pennies and maybe a nickle or two.  Anything larger than a dime just wont do.  It's best if the total is less than seven cents.   Drop your donation into the street musicians hat, and then act like you've just saved their day.   Remember,  less is better....  Less than five pennies really makes you an expert at this stage.

Now, I know what you're probably thinking.  People couldn't really be this rude.  There's no way I've actually seen this.....  But you would be wrong, with a big stinkin W.   Yes, I do see all three of these things, almost daily.   Not in nice places like Mountain View, or Palo Alto, but in downtown San Jose, yes I do.

Which leads me to the usual conclusion of my blogs.   My approach towards the vast majority of the people in downtown San Jose.  YOU SUCK!  I  piss on your graves, and all the graves of your ancestors and descendants.

Oh, and by the way,  if you're one of the nice people I run into in Mountain View,  thank you.  You're really really nice.

And remember, if you read this,  email me....  Or not.

If you read this, and are one of the people that practice these events regularly, especially in SJ..... uh, in not so many words,  GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Bye